The Unspoken Rules of a London Flatshare

So, you’ve done it. You’ve navigated Spar room, avoided the scams, and secured a room in a London flat that doesn’t have visible damp. You’ve signed the tenancy agreement, a document filled with clauses about fire safety and rental arrears. Congratulations. Now, throw it away.

Well, don’t actually throw it away. You’ll need it when your landlord tries to claim your entire deposit for a single Blu-Tack mark. But understand this: the official rules are not the real rules.

The real rules of a London flatshare are a delicate, unwritten constitution passed down through generations of weary renters. They are learned through passive-aggressive WhatsApp messages, pointed silences, and the slow, dawning horror of realising you are the problem.

To save you the pain, here is the real constitution. These are the unspoken rules of renting in London.

1. The Sacred Doctrine of the Bins

You might think putting rubbish in a bin is simple. You are wrong. There is a complex, invisible rota that governs the general waste, the recycling, and the dreaded food caddy. The rules are as follows:

  • The Jenga Rule: You must never be the one to pull the final, precariously balanced pizza box that causes the bin-bag Jenga tower to collapse.
  • The Squeeze: If you do take the bin out, you are morally permitted to leave the new, empty bin bag sitting neatly on top of the bin for at least 24 hours. It’s the next person’s job to actually put it in.
  • The Juice: He who creates the “bin juice” at the bottom of the bag is forever shamed.

2. The Cold War of the Central Heating

London in October is when the first shots are fired in the annual Thermostat War. There are two factions: “The Human Radiator,” who is perfectly happy in a t-shirt, and “The Eternal Lizard,” who is clinically hypothermic if the temperature drops below 23°C. The rule is simple: the thermostat is a no-man’s-land. You may only adjust it when you are certain no one else is home, and you must return it to its original setting before they get back.

3. The WhatsApp Group: A Theatre of Subtlety

The flatshare WhatsApp group is 10% practical information (“The wifi is down again”) and 90% a performance art piece.

  • A picture of a single dirty fork left by the sink, captioned with a single, devastating question mark “?”, is a declaration of war.
  • “Hey guys! Just a gentle reminder to please be mindful of noise after 11 pm 😊” is the politest death threat you will ever receive.
  • Success is never having your name mentioned directly.

4. The Fridge: A Map of Unspoken Treaties

Your designated shelf in the fridge is your sovereign territory. Any unauthorised incursion is a violation of the Geneva Convention. While stealing a flatmate’s food is the ultimate crime, the secondary offences are just as serious. These include, but are not limited to: placing your leaky Tupperware on someone else’s vegetables, allowing your half-dead coriander to wilt all over their cheese, or owning the “science experiment” Tupperware at the back that no one dares to open.

5. The Law of the Closed Bedroom Door

In a city of 9 million people, your bedroom door is the only thing separating you from total sensory overload. A closed door is not a suggestion; it is a fortress wall. It means “I am on a Zoom call,” “I am having a quiet breakdown,” or “I am watching my guilty pleasure reality TV show and I will not be judged.” Knocking is mandatory. Shouting through it is a federal offence.

6. The Phantom Tenant: The Ghost of Flatmates Past

Every London flatshare is haunted by the ghosts of previous tenants. Their presence is felt through the mountain of post addressed to a “Mr. J. Smith” who apparently left in 2018. This pile of takeaway menus and council tax reminders is a permanent feature of the hallway. No one is allowed to touch it. It is now part of the house’s structure.


Living in a London flatshare is a rite of passage. It’s a social experiment that will test your patience, your tolerance for other people’s habits, and your ability to communicate entirely through sighs. But it’s also where you’ll find camaraderie in the shared struggle against broken boilers and extortionate rent.

You survive by mastering these rules. You thrive by knowing when to ignore them and just buy everyone a pint.

What unspoken rules did we miss? Let us know in the comments below!

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